Feeling not good enough? Here’s the cure... By Jen Atkins
posted on 23/10/2013 1:14:00 PM
"Trying to stop thinking negative thoughts only makes them worse and freezes us in inaction.”
Did you know that you can shift your mindset from negative to positive in a split second? How incredible is that?! But we rarely use this powerful ability because it’s easier to believe our inner self critic and accept our thoughts as to who we are. We get so good at this that it happens automatically. That is, until we wake up and confront this yucky feeling. Here’s a secret… You are NOT your thoughts! That said, your thoughts certainly determine whether you are having a good time of it or not. So how can you overcome this feeling of “not good enough” and take control of those negative thoughts of doubt and fear? Here are some strategies that I follow and might work for you as well. 1. MAKE A DECISION As individuals, we have the incredible power to decide that we are, in fact, good enough. You are the person who owns the only key to your self-worth, which governs what you do. In order to achieve the feeling of being good enough, you must first believe it. If you choose not to do so, then no one else can do it for you. Write it down and say it to yourself. When you make the choice, you become the decision maker and you are back in power. You hold that key, yet often forget this. So remind yourself when you feel not good enough, you’ve chosen to be not good enough. You must believe - truly believe - that you are good enough, which will allow you to let go of your self-doubt and achieve amazing things. 2. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS - BIG AND SMALL How often do you quickly dismiss something you did well? Do you allow yourself to recognise it, accept praise from others, and feel you deserve it? The frequency of this is likely to be much less than the amount of time you spend dwelling on something you did wrong or below average. Do you recognise criticism and feel that you deserve it much more than praise? Always remember that you’re on your side, always. 3. REDEFINE PERFECT Being a perfectionist is a trap. Whilst it supports you in aiming for excellence and achieving greatness, it also paradoxically holds you back because it’s unachievable. Perfectionism is a great precursor to procrastination, best represented by the statement, “I can’t do it.” “Perfectionism is a great precursor to procrastination...” I must admit I suffer from this trait and have experienced letting go of ‘perfection’ to just ‘do my best’. When the threat of perfection was lifted, so was the pressure and anxiety I felt when I was totally out of my comfort zone, attempting something new. I also re-examined my expectations. What did I want in the end? Did I really need to get bogged down with small aspects? I looked at the big picture - I had a goal and I was going after it. By releasing the self-assigned pressure of perfection, you will release the corresponding anxiety and allow yourself to perform up to your abilities. You might even enjoy it. 4. PRACTISE MINDFULNESS This is all about paying attention to the present moment. Mindfulness is being fully aware and focused on the present, rather than focusing on future fears of “what might happen”, or reliving past painful events and disappointments. Trying to “stop thinking negative thoughts” only makes them worse and freezes us in inaction. However, simply observing them like passing clouds can defuse their emotional power and make us feel capable, strong and able to deal with the here and now. It becomes easier to see how our fears and anxieties have been disproportionate to the reality of our situation, allowing us to reframe them in a more rational context. Over time, they lose their emotional power.
“You are the person who owns the only key to your self-worth...”
I often describe to clients that your mind is like a garden – if you don’t plant flowers, the weeds will grow. As annoying as it is, it is a fact that if we don’t consciously think positive thoughts, the negative ones will pop up automatically. This is an ongoing practice, but given time it does get much easier, I promise! By using these strategies, you too can work to overcome the feeling that you are not good enough. The little voice that pops up at the worst of times and screams “I am not good enough!” is awful. But, while you may feel sometimes that it is easier to just go with it, it is definitely worth the struggle to value your self-worth and believe in yourself.
Source Url: http://www.oxygenmag.com.au/Motivation/tabid/617/entryid/1208/Feeling-not-good-enough-Here-s-the-cure-By-Jen-Atkins.aspx
You are good enough.
If you would like to receive more motivation, tips and information on how to stay on top of things, and find out about workshops and courses to help and encourage you to keep growing, then why not become a Member at Jenesis Mind & Body (it’s FREE). Simply go to: jenesismindandbody.com.au/joinnow Jen Atkins is one of Australia’s leading Success Coaches and is a qualified NLP Master Practitioner, Clinical Hypnotherapist and Personal Trainer. She is renowned for her ability to discover what is holding people back from achieving success in their lives and breaking through their limitations to achieve amazing results. Jen works brilliantly with people who are "stuck" and are having difficulty achieving what they want. She believes an outstanding life begins with optimum health and the correct mindset. Her websites are: jenesismindandbody.com.au jenatkins.com.au thepermanentweightlosssolution.com.au
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